Musings on Marriage

Category: Just thinking (Page 2 of 9)

Mundane Sunsets

Tonight we had a mundane sunset.  Every night I glance out the window to see the palette of the evening.  Sometimes it’s simply blue and grey, other times there are combinations of orange, yellow, blue, maroon, red, purple, orange and countless other colors of the rainbow.  But tonight it was just hues of the blue sky, rather dull colors when contrasted with the other flaming, glorious, golden and sometimes stormy sunsets of previous evenings. 

That got me thinking about what makes a gorgeous sunset.  The more clouds – the positioning, depth, and different layering of clouds – the more beautiful sunset.  The less clouds, the more boring. 

When my dad and I used to sit out in the garage he gave me brief lessons about cloud types.  The cirrus clouds deliver a thin web-like texture, the cumulus give a bit more depth and color, whereas the stratus are the most foreboding of all.  Yet, when all three are combined in different parts of the sky, the results can be stunning as the sun shines through them.

Of course that got me thinking about what makes our lives beautiful.  If I equate clouds with trials and hardships – all those things we try to run away from in life – then the more and various clouds equal the more beauty.  Now I imagine that’s not what you wanted to hear today.  Nobody I know is asking for difficulties to come so they can become more beautiful, but we all know that hard times do have a way of finding their way into our lives. 

If you’re old enough to remember the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, you’ll know that whenever Calvin’s dad gave him chores to do he would sulk.  Inevitably Calvin’s dad would say something to the effect that hard things are what build character – at which Calvin would roll his eyes and under his breath say “Yeah, ok Dad.”

Of course, what Calvin’s dad said is true.  Hard stuff in life does lead to the refining and building of our character.  Troubles bringing us to our knees, help to ground off the rough edges of our personality, and if we allow it, trials cause us to become more patient, kind and caring. 

I remember being decades younger and not having a lot of tolerance for other people’s weaknesses, grief or pain.  But after I experienced the deaths of those I love, I remember feeling a broken heart – for the first time in my life.  I had heard other people talk about having broken hearts, but when I experienced it myself, I grew in compassion for others’ grief. 

I used to be afraid to talk to someone who had lost a loved one to suicide or suffered a betrayal of a close friend.  But it was only then, when I unwillingly belonged to the same club as they, that I learned to talk about those emotions of grief, depression and anger because my only other choice was to stuff them down, allowing them to consume me from the inside out.

Recently I read a story illustrating this principle:

The Cloak

One night a heartbroken friend had a dream that she was standing in front of Jesus. He handed her a cloak. As she looked at the cloak, she realized it was alive. She could see that its threads were strands of specific events from her life, some bright and beautiful, others wormy and grotesque. She looked at the ugly strands–abuse, betrayal, divorce, illness, grief–each reminding her of seasons of excruciating pain. Just as she tried to pull out the threads, she glanced at Jesus. He took the cloak, wrapped her in it, and looked at her with an expression of deep pleasure and delight, as if the cloak were the most beautiful tapestry ever woven. At that moment she realized that if she attempted to pluck out the ugly bits, the entire garment would unravel.

We have all suffered innumerable hurts, heartaches and devastating events, for no one is immune. At times we may feel like we live in a never-ending dark tunnel.  We have a choice, however – a choice to allow Jesus to fight for us against the hard stuff or succumb to their power and live in fear and despair.

It’s often tempting to curse the clouds when they cover the sun.  I find myself thinking thoughts like:

This was not in my plans.

Why me?

I don’t deserve this.

I feel like God doesn’t even care, He’s just abandoned and forgotten me.

This happens to others, not to me…

Yet, one thing we know for sure is that Jesus is walking with us in the trouble, deep in the clouds, through every storm.  Trust Him with your darkness.

Hope reminds us that our best days are ahead, not behind us. 

Surrender tomorrow to God – He’s already been there.

Caleb Kaltenbach

God Box

Do you know that on average you make 35,000 choices every day?  I had no idea, but that’s what the research says.  You can choose to get out of bed in the morning, choose to smile, choose to be kind to your husband and choose to say “thank you” to the people around you. 

You can also choose to worry – about what your friend thinks of you, worry about wearing the right clothes, about what your children are doing…  the possibilities are endless.

Every day we are faced with two basic choices. 

We have a choice to worry about tomorrow

– or –

 we can choose to trust God and cast those worries on Jesus.

Craig Groeschel recently wrote a book Winning the War in Your Mind, teaching about those very things.  One specific example he gives is an incredibly easy and tangible way to be thinking about what you are thinking.  Craig suggests making a God Box.  It can be a shoebox, an Amazon box, or any other little box you may have lying around.  On the outside of the box write the word God.  Any time you have a runaway thought, a worry or a temptation, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it in the God Box.

You might write something like:

I’m afraid there won’t be enough money to cover the bills

I’m worried about my 17 year-old

What if our business fails?

I’m afraid of what may happen to my children when I am not around

I’m worried about my health, what if I never get better?

Will there be enough food for all?

Will my friend ever forgive me?

When you write each of these worries on a piece of paper and put it in the God Box, you could say:

God, I know you’re bigger than all these problems and I will trust you with them.  I can do nothing to fix anything, and so I give them all to you.  I don’t want to expend my mental real estate focusing on all these issues I cannot change, so I give them to you.

Once you pray and give it to God, go on with your life.

But if you decide you want to worry about something you’ve already put in the God box, open it up take out that slip of paper and say to God,

I don’t trust you any more with this item so I’m going to worry some more about it.

You may think that sounds like a rude thing to say to God, but in effect that’s what we’re saying when we fill our mind with worry.  The apostle Peter tells us to cast all our cares upon God for He cares for you.  Our thoughts seek to betray us, and doubts pop into our mind, but we have a choice whether we will worry about stuff, or live a life of trust and dependence on God. 

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we will receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Are You a Disciple of the Internet?

Disciple of the Internet – have you ever thought of yourself by this title?  I recently listened to a John Eldredge podcast by that name and was a bit offended by the phrase.  I thought to myself,

I’m not a disciple of the Internet, I’m a disciple of Jesus.

 But after listening to John’s podcast, I agree with his observation of our culture.  We live in a time when we have access to all the information known to mankind with a single click. Whenever we speak or type a question into Google, we typically get over 2 million answers in less than a second. No waiting, no wondering, only immediate responses intended to satisfy our every whim.

Because we live with such overwhelming immediate answers to our questions, we tend to expect God to become speedy as well.

Most of us use the internet every day, perhaps hours every day, and because of this, our mindset has become different than it was decades ago. Back in the 1900’s, we didn’t expect anything to move too quickly.  Sure, we could drive a car, fly around the world in a jet, watch a spaceship go to the moon, but beyond that our lives were lived relatively slow. We would linger with people, work and play outside, stroll down the street looking around and observing the beauty. 

Today, it is quite rare to see anyone walk with no device, simply enjoying their surroundings. We have sadly become quite oblivious to anything happening around us, immersed in our own virtual worlds.

As John Eldredge says,

You are a disciple of the system that tutors you.

The internet is amazing if you want to fix your washing machine, build a retaining wall, or learn how to prune a tree.  I am a big fan of YouTube; I love to watch music videos and podcasts.  But if I am looking for direction and wisdom from God I need to slow down, listen and wait.  Wait, you say?  Now that is tough for us in the 21st century.

Our faith is powerful, yet fragile – kind of like coral reefs.  It needs protection from distractions if we want to hear from our Heavenly Father.  Even though our technology has been continually speeding up, now travelling two thirds the speed of light, Jesus does not see that as a threat – something He needs to keep up with when communicating with us.

As He said himself,

I am the same yesterday, today and forever.

If He is the same yesterday, today and forever, then I believe he requires us to slow down, wait and listen – without distraction. 

I just Googled “how many times is the word ‘wait’ found in the Bible?”  And the answer is, depending on the translation you use, over 120 times.  Here’s one:

Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

Sitting still and waiting is not part of our culture’s mantra, but if we ask the Holy Spirit to teach us that valuable discipline, I believe we’ll hear from God.  He is patiently waiting for us to talk to Him, so tell Him your troubles and frustrations, share your joys and pleasures.  Ask Him a question and He will answer you, probably not as quickly as you would like but He will answer. He is a good, good Father and His love for you endures forever.   

We live in a culture addicted to quick, but Jesus is waiting for you to come away from distractions, slow down and listen to Him and His Word.

Silent Night, Painful Night

When our family was younger – about three decades ago – we and our four daughters would light the advent candles every night and sing Christmas Carols together.  Even though there may have been misunderstandings, faulty communication and hurts during the day, the singing would somehow make things better, peaceful and good.  Those memories are precious, when life was simpler….

Fast forward to years later when our family was growing – boyfriends, husbands and babies.  One memorable Christmas Eve as we were all together, hurtful words were spoken, tears streamed down, brokenness and pain shattered the evening.  This night before Christmas was not what any of us had hoped for or could have predicted.  The next morning, Christmas Day, our four daughters were scheduled to sing during the worship service.  As the evening wore on and we were working toward understanding and forgiveness, one of the sons-in-law asked what song we were planning to sing.  All Is Well was my reply.  He said “I think The Old Rugged Cross would be more appropriate at this point.”  Personally, I was ready to cancel Christmas altogether.

 After all the careful planning, meal preparation and hopes of a Silent Night, Holy Night, it had turned into a Painful Night, Tearful Night. I was in no mood to sing, and especially not All Is Well because all was certainly not well in our home that dark night. But in the midst of the sadness and heartache that came with our brokenness, God was with us, Immanuel.

It was almost midnight when the four girls and I walked over to the empty church building and practiced All Is Well.  Our daughters sang, I accompanied on the piano and as we practiced, somewhat mechanically, I felt the Spirit of God hovering among us, silently, gently, almost imperceptibly.  Hope grew in my heart – that relationships would be restored and love would continue.  Exhausted, yet at peace, we went home to sleep. The next morning dawned and we quietly gathered ourselves together.  We worshiped in faith, still bruised and weary, but we sang All Is Well. 

Since that time I have pondered many times the fact that All is Well, always, whether life is peaceful or whether there is strain.  The fact is, Immanuel, God is with us – here in our hard times and our joyful times.  He never leaves or forsakes us.  He’s working to continually restore relationships and bring reconciliation to those who are willing to forgive.

A Hallmark Christmas was not ours that year, but we learned once again that Jesus came for families like ours who battle, disagree and hurt each other.  He came so we could be made new, so we could learn to love faithfulness, to humble ourselves and forgive.

Many Christmas Eves later Larry and I were in Idaho, living with and caring for my parents, and still we sang.  On those dark and cold advent nights we practiced the same tradition with my parents as we did so long ago with our children.  We lit the candles and sang carols, a new tradition for them.  Their voices quavered and were not quite as in tune as they used to be.  When we went down the scale on Away in A Manger my dad went up and we met somewhere in the middle, but it was still peaceful and good.

All Is Well.

And all shall be well.

The Gift of Simple

I have been reading the fascinating biography of Moses lately and it is quite amazing.  At the end of his life, as he is handing the mantle to Joshua, Moses gives some simple, concise commands.  Joshua has been Moses’ right-hand man for decades, so Joshua wasn’t completely unaware of the challenges before him, but let’s face it – it’s a huge job to take over the leadership of more than a million people in the middle of a desert.

What I found amazing was the simplicity of the instructions Moses gave to Joshua as he was getting ready to become the leader of the Israeli people.

            Be strong and courageous

            God goes with you

            God will never leave or forsake you

There were many unknowns for Joshua, just like there are many unknowns in our futures, yet these are the only instructions Moses gave him.  Later, after Moses died, God Himself gave Joshua some commands

Be strong and very courageous

I will never leave you nor forsake you

Be careful to obey me

Do not be afraid or discouraged

They look quite similar to the instructions from Moses to Joshua, don’t they? After reading and comparing the lists I got wondering if these would be good instructions for us as we live thousands of years later in a world full of uncertainty.

They are simple and concise, easy to remember when the day is light and all is well, but it may be a bit more difficult when darkness and distractions come into focus.  One of my friends has the simplest of all instructions when crushing anxiety shows up:

Trust God and breathe.

There is much in our world to become stressed about, but one thing is sure – worrying about it won’t change a thing.  We certainly can complain, grumble and be troubled about many details of life, but what will change? Absolutely nothing.

Have you ever heard the acronym ROI?  Yeah, me neither, but I recently learned it means: Return on your investments.  If you invest minutes, hours and days worrying about everything in your life, you will certainly receive a return on that – mainly anxiety, panic attacks and perhaps ulcers.  

But if you invest minutes, hours and days meditating on the goodness of God and His direction to….

Be strong and courageous

Not be afraid

Meditate on His love for you

Remember that God is for you and will take care of you,

Give thanks in all things, for this is God’s will for you

…then the (ROI) return on your investment will be peace, love and joy, all which come from Holy Spirit. 

I’d much rather have peace than anxiety, how about you?

You may want to start with this simple statement:

Jesus, I give everyone and everything to You

No matter what news I hear, no matter how disturbing the election results are,

I will not be afraid

Hummingbirds and Vultures

A few years ago my husband and I watched a mama cow in our front pasture who had recently given birth.  The little calf was laying in the green grass nearby the placenta which had recently released its occupant.  A few minutes after the birth, Larry saw these six vultures hovering around the pasture just waiting to gobble up their next meal, the mouth-watering placenta.

Larry Baar
Larry Baar

A little later we also saw a hummingbird fliting around some wildflowers, joyfully drinking some of the sweet juice it had found. 

These two memories recently resurfaced as I finished reading a chapter from the book Winning the War for your Mind by Craig Groeschel. He made an interesting comparison between vultures and hummingbirds.  When a vulture flies around what is it typically looking for?  It almost always looks for dead things.  Apparently, vultures can smell roadkill from over a mile away.  Vultures primarily focus on dead things, smashed, squished or rotting things – that is their specialty.

Hummingbirds, on the other hand, are attracted to sweet, life-giving nectar.  As they fly, their wings flapping 20 times per second, they are continually on the search for beautiful flowers and fragrant blossoms.  Hummingbirds focus on life and beauty.

What a difference in the goal of their hunts – one seeking death and the other looking for life.  Every day each bird finds what it’s looking for.

Craig uses these two feathered friends to illustrate the way each of us tend to preframe our perspectives during the day.  At the beginning of each day we typically have a mindset of what we expect during the day.  We can choose how to view something before it happens. 

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of pre-framing our day with the thoughts:

Today will be the same old same old stuff I face every day.  Same stuff, different day.  I’ll never be able to get done all I need to.  I’m overwhelmed.

 We expect and look for those things that bring us down, despairing and hopeless… the way of the vulture.

Larry Baar

Thankfully there’s another way to pre-frame our day even before we start.  With God’s help we can choose our frame for the day – looking for life-giving beauty, and offering thanks for His care.  If you know you’re in for a challenging day you could say to yourself:

Today I will experience God’s strength through my weakness.  He gives me everything I need for what I’m called to do.  Instead of a bad, busy day, I’m going to enjoy a good productive day.

There is not a moment in your life when God has forgotten or forsaken you.  He assures us, In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.  We cannot control what happens to us, but we can choose how we will frame it.  We can see our circumstances through the lens of His mercy and grace, knowing our strength comes from Him. This is the way of the hummingbird.

It’s a beautiful thing to know we are loved and cared for by our Heavenly Father who has promised to carry our burdens.

It’s also empowering to know we have a choice:

To follow the way of the vulture or the way of the hummingbird.

The Bait of Satan

I’ve never trapped animals, but I do know there are two important aspects of a good trap: first of all it must be hidden, and second, it must be baited to lure an animal into the trap’s deadly jaws.

Satan – the enemy of our souls – uses both strategies as he lays out his deceptive and deadly traps.  They are both hidden and baited. One of his most deceptive and insidious kinds of bait is something we face every day of our lives – the bait of offense. 

Offense is not deadly on its own.  Every day we have opportunities to be offended – it may be an annoying comment from our spouse, the driver who cut us off in traffic, being falsely accused of something we didn’t do – and the list goes on.  If we recognize the bait of offense and leave it in the trap, there is no problem.  But if we pick it up out of the trap, chew on it, dwell on it in our heart, turn it over and over in our minds, we become offended. 

Someone may have abused you when you were young, maybe a friend betrayed you decades ago, spoke lies about you.  Holding an offense for years takes a toll on the body and soul – I know this by experience.

You may feel totally righteous in holding on to grudges and offenses – someone hurt you and want them to pay. How can they pay? I’m not sure, but the energy it takes to hold on to an offense always has a negative impact on you. It rents valuable space in your mind, and dwelling on offenses leaves less energy to do more productive things.

Offense is truly a trap of the devil. If he can get us to become offended by someone – anyone – we are trapped and the offense becomes like a poison in our system. We will become bitter, spewing out words of anger, division and strife.

There is an old saying – you’ve probably seen it on social media:

Unforgiveness is only toxic to you,

it’s like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. – T.D. Jakes

Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 2:24-26

…God’s servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil’s trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands.

If you want to stay out of the devil’s trap, keep free from offense. I know it’s much easier said than done, but forgiving others is what will keep you healthy and free to love others instead of casting a critical eye toward everyone around you.

Ephesians 4:26 reminds us,

But don’t let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge, not for even a day. Don’t give the slanderous accuser, the devil, an opportunity to manipulate you!

If we hold anger and bitterness in our hearts – even anger against politicians we don’t know personally – we will be manipulated by the devil. Offense becomes a toxin in our bodies and a tool by which the devil can and will cause us to do his will. It will put us in prison – a prison of depression, freeze-dried anger and joylessness.

I have a candy jar and I am often tempted to lift the lid and take a piece. Sometimes taking offense tastes as good as a piece of candy. When we cast a slur on someone or take offense by someone’s remark, it seems delicious to spread gossip about them, because they were wrong, and we are right.

But what were those words Jesus used to teach us how to deal with our enemies?

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

There will always be an opportunity to be offended – maybe up to 50 times in a day. But a person who will not forgive is a person who has forgotten how much Christ has forgiven them.

Holes in Buckets

Has anyone ever disappointed you?

 Ever had anyone betray you, talk behind your back?

Has anybody ever broken a promise they made to you?

Most likely you have, because to be human means having issues with people.  I have done it to others; others have done it to me…and it hurts.

We humans are kind of like buckets with holes in them.  We fail, we say things we shouldn’t, we withhold words which should be said, we envy, get jealous – you know all the stuff. No matter how many compliments we may get, there will never be enough to fill our bucket, because they slip out the holes. We know our weakness, our guilt, our shame, and no other person can give us enough love and attention to keep our bucket full.

It’s normal for us to try and find another human who can keep our bucket full, but no one on this planet is capable of doing so. Many of us work hard to make ourselves look like we are full buckets, but inside we know how we constantly need the affirmation of others to keep believing that we are worthwhile.

Sometimes we marry someone who seems to be a bucket without holes and hope they can fill our always emptying bucket.  But inevitably their holes show up and they will not be able to fill our bucket which keeps being emptied.

There are some people I have known in the past who were so beautiful, put together – it seemed as if they had no holes in their bucket.  But then I got to know them – and they are fallible, full of holes just like everyone else.  They never tried to cover their holes, I just didn’t know them well enough to see them. 

Some people’s holes are obvious to the world, others are hidden to most but are certainly revealed some time or other.

For years I have tried to find someone without holes in their bucket, someone whom I could emulate, but there is no human on earth fitting that description.  There are no exceptions. 

I have always loved to hear positive comments about myself, and if I heard a criticism I would be hurt, wondering how they could have misinterpreted my actions or words.  But just like everyone else, my bucket is full of holes. 

I have found there is only one person whose bucket is always full and overflowing – and that is my friend, Jesus. He is trustworthy and true, loving me when I have failed, loving me when I have done well.  Yes, Jesus does convict me when I have acted in pride, when I have been selfish with my time, but I know there is no condemnation.  I simply need to confess what I have done, accept His always available forgiveness, and move on.

There is no greater comfort on earth than that of being always in conversation with my Savior. As CS Lewis said decades ago,

God made us, invented us as a man invents an engine.  A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else.  Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself.

Because He has no holes in His bucket, He is the only Person we can turn to for strength, wisdom, forgiveness and never-ending love.  He will never force Himself on us, He is far too great of a gentleman for that.  But He is always waiting, watching and ready to come into our lives – simply for the asking.

So we have a choice: we can either try to continue living in our own strength, or surrender to Jesus and let Him become our strength, wisdom and continual source of a never-ending bucket of love who will never leave nor forsake you.

Disciples of the Internet

Have you ever heard of such a peculiar phrase – Disciples of the Internet?  I recently listened to a John Eldredge podcast by that name and was a bit offended by the phrase.  I thought to myself,

I’m not a disciple of the Internet, I’m a disciple of Jesus.

 But after listening to John’s podcast, I agree with his observation of our culture.  Because most of us use the internet every day, perhaps hours every day, our mindset has become different than it was decades ago. Back in the 1900’s, we didn’t expect anything to move too quickly.  Sure, we could drive a car, fly around the world in a jet, watch a spaceship go to the moon, but beyond that our lives were lived relatively slowly. 

We would linger with people, work and play outside, stroll down the street as we look around, observing the beauty.  Today, it is quite rare to see someone walk with nothing in their hands, simply enjoying their surroundings.  A far higher percentage of walkers hold their phones in their hand, quite oblivious to anything happening around them, immersed in their virtual world.

As John says,

You are a disciple of the system that tutors you.

When we type or speak a question into Google, we can get over 2 million answers in .03 seconds.  No waiting, no wondering, just immediate information.  And because our souls have become programmed for immediate answers, we tend to expect the same from God.

We have the world’s combined knowledge from over the millennia at our fingertips.  What more can we need?  The internet is amazing if you want to fix your washing machine, build a retaining wall, or learn how to prune a tree.  I am a big fan of YouTube; I love to watch music videos and podcasts.  But if I am looking for direction and wisdom from God I need to slow down, listen and wait.  Wait, you say?  Now that is tough for us in the 21st century.

Our faith is powerful, yet fragile – kind of like coral reefs.  It needs protection from distractions if we want to hear from our Heavenly Father.  Even though our technology has been continually speeding up, now travelling two thirds the speed of light, Jesus does not see that as a threat – something He needs to keep up with when communicating with us.

As He said himself,

I am the same yesterday, today and forever.

If He is the same yesterday, today and forever, then I believe he requires us to slow down, wait and listen – without distraction.  I just Googled “how many times is the word ‘wait’ found in the Bible?”  And the answer is, depending on the translation you use, over 120 times.  Here’s one place:

Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

Sitting still and waiting is not part of our culture’s mantra, but if we ask the Holy Spirit to teach us that valuable discipline, I believe we’ll hear from God.  He is patiently waiting for us to talk to Him, so tell Him your troubles and frustrations, share your joys and pleasures.  Ask Him a question and He will answer you, probably not as quickly as you would like but He will answer. He is a good, good Father and His love for you endures forever.   

We live in a culture addicted to quick, but Jesus is waiting for you to come away from distractions, slow down and listen to Him and His Word.

Never Give Up

I received three potted amaryllis bulbs at the end of November from my sister Rhonda.  Over the years I have grown several with great success and I was eagerly expecting the same.  I followed all the directions, put them near a window and watered faithfully for weeks expecting to see some lush green growth topped with beautiful flowers by Christmas. 

Day after day, week after week they looked the same, like dead bulbs in the dirt.  After 7 weeks I was just about ready to throw the whole pot in the trash and be done with it.  Then one day I saw a slight green shoot peeking out the top and celebrated that perhaps all my watering and waiting was not in vain.

Now, finally in late-February there are some gorgeous magenta-tipped white blooms – just as I had hoped.

Because I was impatient, I just about tossed out some lovely flowers-to-be. But because of that slightly ambiguous word – hope – I faithfully continued to water and keep them in the light so maybe, just maybe they would grow like I had expected. 

And then I got thinking about situations for which I have been praying for years – even decades.  The healing of a relationship, the growth of a marriage, the softening of hearts, and the healing of a broken body.  I know Jesus hears my prayers and is working things out for my good but sometimes I get frustrated and think,

Why should I care anymore?

 What good is it doing?

 Will anything ever change?

Have you ever had those thoughts, when the prayers you pray seem to be hitting the ceiling and dropping straight down again?  It’s hard to keep on loving, keep on showing up, keep on doing good in the face of evil.   In fact, there’s a proverb written over 3,000 years ago stating,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

Obviously waiting over 9 weeks for amaryllis bulbs to bloom is much different than waiting years for something you’re hoping for.  I think of women who have waited for years to have a baby, suffering through months of infertility and disappointment.  Or those who have suffered abuse and have waited for years to see that abuser convicted.  Sometimes it seems as if God is on mute as we pray for the people we love year after year, hoping justice will be served. 

I ponder the story of Abraham and Sarah who were promised a child from God and waited 25 years before it came to be.  David, who after he was anointed King, had to wait another 10 years running and hiding in caves in order to keep from King Saul’s vengeance.  Good things do happen, promises are kept but sometimes it’s hard to keep on going, every day putting one foot in front of another when we repeatedly hear the voices whispering in our heads,

Nothing is ever going to change, it will be this way forever...

Certainly it feels like it at times, but the truth is – life is changing every day.  Just as imperceptibly as plants grow – we cannot see it day by day – during months and years they do grow.  God is listening and working so at just the right time the beautiful bloom will appear.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap…Let us not lose heart in doing good,

for in due time, we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6:7,9

Have good courage and confidence because God is doing a good work, and He will bring it to completion.

I love the following prayer from Tim Keller:

Lord, I confess I do not understand your timing. If I were in charge of history and my life I would have arranged things differently.

But I cannot see the whole picture, I cannot see from beginning to end, and so I wait for you in obedience and prayer.  Amen.

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