Do you know you can choose to be unoffended?  In his book, Unoffendable, Brant Hansen challenges us to believe that we do have a choice.  Although being offended is what comes naturally, it doesn’t mean we have to fall into that trap. 

Today’s cancel culture teaches us – If you aren’t like me, if you disagree with me – I may cancel you out of my life and never speak to you again.

When I study the life of Jesus, I am amazed.  He never cancelled anyone.  Nor was He ever shocked or surprised at human behavior.  He knew we were all basically selfish, He knew the fallen human heart was just that – fallen.  So maybe, just maybe we would do well to live the same way.  We all know what’s in our own heart so we can imagine every other person struggles with the same exact stuff.

Different details

            different day

                                 different people,

but basically, we all skirmish with the same emotions as every other human on the planet.

Because I battle bitterness toward people who have hurt me, I know others do as well.  I struggle with forgiveness, so I know others also struggle when I hurt them.  When we can accept it as a fact – that people in general are self-centered, untrustworthy, unfaithful and prone to egocentricity – we need not be shocked any longer and can learn to adjust our expectations accordingly. 

This might seem pessimistic, but human behavior is no longer surprising.  If we simply remember that people will react in ways we don’t like, we can plan for it and choose a better way.  We can replace the shock and anger with gratitude.

We see anger in the grocery store and at the bank, rage on the roads and annoyance at home.  Offense seems to be the fashion, outrage the popular trend.  But to be perpetually shocked and offended at others is exhausting.  Brant suggests that we might start living with realistic expectations and choose to be the beautiful exception – to be those who are not offended.

Imagine the results of speaking kindness after being insulted instead of shooting back words of the same.

Imagine the reaction if we spoke of the good people do instead of highlighting the evil.

Imagine trusting God to take care of the people who have hurt you, to let Him do the work and mete out the justice you are incapable of giving.

Imagine if someone cuts you off in traffic and you choose to replace that shock and horror with gratitude, because it gives you an opportunity to forgive and pray for them.

And then when a person generously lets you merge – give thanks.

Imagine your life becoming less stressful because you give up your right to anger and offense.

We need to remember when Jesus was reviled, spat upon and mocked, he never came back with similar words, but instead as he was hanging from the cross, prayed for his enemies,

Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

If Jesus lives in us, we have the power to forgive, to give thanks during difficult times and trust our Father to do what we cannot.

One thing about anger and gratitude, they can’t coexist.  It’s one or the other. Being angry and offended drains the very life from you.  The other fills your life with beauty.

Choose wisely.

Let’s be the Beautiful Exception.