Musings on Marriage

Category: Just thinking (Page 5 of 9)

Caterpillar to a Butterfly

Dear Daughters,

We stroll through life sometimes, thinking everything will continue to be as good as it is today, until suddenly it isn’t.  We fall into a pit – never see it coming – but there we sit in a deep dark hole. Have you ever fallen into the proverbial pit yourself?  A hole of self-pity, throwing a woe is me party for yourself and no one shows?  I’ve done it far too many times.  Sometimes I awake in the morning with the dread of starting a new day because of a poor night sleep, and am tired even before I put my feet on the ground.

Every morning I say, This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it…  that is, every morning I remember.  Today it was quite a while after I woke simply because I forgot and didn’t feel like rejoicing, I felt like complaining: Why did I have another short night?  Why do I have such sorrow in my heart?  The war in Ukraine has taken a toll on many of us, the heartbreak of seeing in real time one country brazenly attacking another with no provocation.

After coming out of the Covid years, many of us were hoping that our lives would calm down and get back to normal – whatever normal may look like.  But now there is another world crisis.

It’s amazing to me when most every created thing in our world lives, grows and behaves just how God planned for them.  Flowers grow and bloom, sharing their beauty with the world, thinking nothing of themselves but only bringing joy to their Maker as well as people all around them.  Or take a scampering squirrel – I love to watch their playful antics as they run up a tree as another squirrel chases them down – their joy is laughable and contagious.  Think about dogs who love their owners, listen to whatever troubles their people have and get all wiggly and excited when you come home?  Or how about the lowly caterpillar, waiting patiently for its metamorphosis?

Plants and animals live the purpose for which they were created to live; trees give fruit, vines grow multiple varieties of squash and the stars shine brilliantly in the sky at night.  The sun shines and gives warmth, even on a cold winter day.  You never see a star wishing it was a cloud, or a daisy wishing it was a dog.  Every part of creation does just what they were created for – except for people.

What is it that people were created to do?  Just like the plants and animals, we were created to give glory and praise to our Maker. 

Have you ever considered the wonder of a wormy little caterpillar transforming into a butterfly?  The life cycle begins when the female adult butterfly lays her eggs (the size of a pinhead) on any variety of plants.  In just 3 – 7 days the caterpillars will emerge out of the eggs and start eating whatever leaf they were born on and others like it.  They eat and eat and eat.  In just 2 weeks of full-time eating, they are about two inches long and a hundred times the size of the egg from which they were born. 

When the caterpillar is finished eating and full grown, it hangs from the plant and becomes a chrysalis for several weeks, looking as if it were dead.  But inside a miracle of transformation is happening.  Metamorphosis is going on, a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly.

Richard Bach

To the caterpillar, it must look like his life is over and he is dying, never to do anything of value again.  Maybe I’m giving too much credence to this little humble creature, I’m sure his thoughts are not quite that profound.  But even to the untrained human eye it looks like his life is gone and perhaps forgotten.

Do you ever feel like you are wrapped up in a cocoon, nothing growing or changing and it feels as if your life is over?  I think we’ve all been there at one time or many.  When you are in the pit, it sometimes feels like a cocoon – dark and tight.  But, since Jesus promised He would never leave or forsake us, we know He’s in the pit or cocoon with you and me. 

But we often feel forsaken, forgotten.  Feelings cannot always be trusted, because even though we feel alone, our God is with us no matter what. And that is a promise from the Creator who made you.

Just like the caterpillar, Jesus is changing us, transforming us into a people who will glorify Him.  When it seems like the end of the world, and all looks dark, be not afraid, for He transforms us into beautiful butterflies.  It is only then that we too, like the rest of creation, will do what we have been called to do.  Instead of warring with other people we will learn to love; instead of considering only our own selfish desires we will look out for the good of others. 

God looks at the chaos and all He sees is beauty waiting to emerge.

Curt Thompson

Let’s shine our light just as the humble butterflies, flowers, squirrels and dogs do.  Praising our Creator without restraint, knowing He is bringing us to a place of comfort and peace where there is no fear, no matter what happens all around us.

Love, Mom

Hope…Always

Dear Daughters,

I received a potted amaryllis bulb at the end of November from Aunt Rhonda.  Over the years I have grown several with great success and I was eagerly expecting the same.  I followed all the directions, put it near a window and watered it faithfully for weeks expecting to see some lush green growth topped with a beautiful flower by Christmas.  Day after day, week after week it looked the same, like a dead bulb in dirt.  After 4 weeks I was just about ready to toss the whole pot in the trash and be done with it.  Then one day I saw a slight white shoot peeking out the top and celebrated that perhaps all my watering and care was not in vain.

Now, finally in mid-February there are some gorgeous magenta blooms – just as I had hoped.

Because I was impatient, I just about tossed out what was to become a lovely flower, but because of that slightly ambiguous word – hope – I faithfully continued to water and keep it in the light so maybe, just maybe it would grow like I had expected. 

And then I got thinking about situations for which I have been praying for years.  The healing of a relationship, the growth of a marriage, the softening of hearts, and the healing of a broken body.  I know Jesus hears my prayers and is working things out for my good but sometimes I get frustrated and think,

Why should I care anymore?

 What good is it doing?

 Will anything ever change?

Have you ever had those thoughts, when the prayers you pray seem to be hitting the ceiling and dropping down again?  It’s hard to keep on loving, keep on showing up, keep on doing good.  In fact, there’s a proverb written over 3,000 years ago stating,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

Obviously waiting over three weeks for an amaryllis to bloom is much different than waiting years for something you’re hoping for.  I think of those women who have waited for years to have a baby, suffering through months of infertility and disappointment.  Or those who have suffered sexual abuse and have waited for months, perhaps years, to see a judge convict an abuser.  Sometimes it seems as if God is on mute as we pray for the people we love year after year, hoping that justice will be served. 

I ponder the story of Abraham and Sarah who were promised a child from God and waited for 25 years before it came to be.  King David, who after he was anointed King, had to wait another 10 years running and hiding in caves in order to keep from King Saul’s vengeance.  Good things do happen, promises are kept but sometimes it’s hard to keep on going, every day putting one foot in front of another when we repeatedly hear the voices whispering in our heads,

Nothing is ever going to change, it will be this way forever...

Certainly it feels like it at times, but the truth is – life is changing every day.  Just as imperceptibly as a plant grows – we cannot see it day by day – but during months and years they do grow.  God is listening, working and at just the right time the beautiful bloom will appear.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap…Let us not lose heart in doing good,

for in due time, we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6:7,9

Did you know that bamboo plants grow as many as 35 inches a day!  And on the opposite extreme there is the Tamarisk tree, native to the drier climates of Eurasia and Africa, which only grows about 1 inch per day.  Why?  Because that’s the way God, in His wisdom, created them.  Different species require different growing times and different maturation dates. 

…And there is an appointed time for every event under Heaven.

A time to give birth and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted…

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Have good courage and confidence because God is doing a good work, and He will bring it to completion.

I love the following prayer from Tim Keller:

Lord, I confess I do not understand your timing. If I were in charge of history and my life I would have arranged things differently.

But I cannot see the whole picture, I cannot see from beginning to end, and so I wait for you in obedience and prayer.  Amen.

Love, Mom

Slow Down

Dear Daughters,

          When I was in junior high I loved to play the piano, loud and fast.  I hated to play slow songs – they were so boring.  Plus, all the kids were impressed when I played fast and loud – spider fingers is what they called me.

            Later on in college, Professor Worst would say to me,  

Slow down, Shari, your music will have so much more life to it if you just go slower.  Breathe.

            Years ago, when I walked with my friends I loved to walk fast.  We would walk and talk and walk.  Then when Grandma came to visit, just she and I would go walking.  I would be silently annoyed because she walked slower than I liked, but I would grudgingly adapt to her speed. 

            When you are in Wyoming and the gas gauge on your car is getting low and there’s not a gas station for another 52 miles, what’s the best thing to do?  Slow down so your miles per gallon goes up and maybe, just maybe you can make it to the next town before the tank is empty. It didn’t always work for us, but in theory it should.

            In my younger years I wanted to be efficient, multi-task, get the most done in the least amount of time.  Isn’t that the way a good Christian woman should be?  I wanted to do my best for God, which meant to do it quickly and well.  I expected the same from God: He should be efficient, answer my prayers according to my timetable, maybe not quickly, but I really shouldn’t have to wait too long, should I?

            And then I got sick and was laid low, on my back, for weeks.  I couldn’t walk around the block, much less walk fast around the block.  Of course, I was irritated, angry that I didn’t get better quickly. 

            One day as I was on the couch, lying down and looking up, I read in Isaiah the following words that jumped out from the page:

Woe to those who say, ‘Let God hurry and carry out His plans so that we can see something happening and know that His word is true.’  (5:19)

I was shocked, surprised, and truth be told, hurt, to read that God was in no hurry to answer my prayers of healing or of anything else I desired, in fact there was a ‘woe’ attached to hurry.  In the past I had been so busy that I had not listened to his voice that also said,

 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 37:7

            A few months ago, I was practicing the song Breathe on the piano and it had some difficult parts in it when I was keeping the same speed throughout.  But as I was working out the hard spots, having to go slow, I noticed a beauty I hadn’t heard before.  I found that if I took extra time and breathed into the song some times of slowing, stretching the tempo, it came alive and was much more beautiful than simply trying to keep the challenging parts the same speed as the rest of the song.  I needed to be reminded again, Slow Down.  Especially the hard parts.

Eventually I was able to get up and around again after my extended time on the couch, and now I am still learning to go slow, take time, and

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

I’m assuming that because the phrase, Wait for the Lord, is stated two times in that little short verse, God is really serious about us waiting.  So, what are we waiting for?  I think waiting sounds a little like trusting in God’s timing, not demanding our own way right now.  Our culture has taught us that we deserve immediate gratification – if you want it, you go and get it.  But Jesus desires to teach us about delayed gratification, learning to be joyful and expectant and trusting before He brings the answer. 

As Ann Voskamp says so often,

Life is not an emergency.

In God’s eyes, relationships are much more important than keeping busy.  The rewards that come from listening to your husband’s and children’s hearts, acknowledging their hurts and triumphs will endure much longer than any busyness we may conjure up on our own. 

In our marriages we want changes in ourselves, our husband, and in our kids.  When we invite God into our hard parts of life, He will bring about change – but never in a hurried way.  He will work out every detail, every hurt, every little thing in us and in our families in His time.  Trust Him with your life – and slow down.

Love, Mom

Contentment at Christmas

Dear Daughters,

It was two weeks before Christmas and I didn’t even have my wreath up yet.  Thanksgiving decorations were sitting around waiting to go into the storage box, then heading down for the basement.  The Christmas tree was still in its box.  I cancelled my piano student’s Christmas recital, and everything is different this year, not at all going as planned.

That’s probably been the story of every one of you sometime or other – we all have plans for our lives, and rarely do they go according to our idea of how they should.  Sometimes there are disappointments, sometimes unexpected joys, sickness, heartache and grief, while it seems like the rest of the world is joyful and festive. 

It would be easy for me to dwell on what I don’t have – energy because of ongoing covid fatigue, the loss of a beautiful evening of Christmas music from the students I love, the extra work it takes to care for dad, missing out on events I had hoped to be a part of.  And to be truthful, I have been disappointed, sometimes angry and frustrated about how drastically our lives have changed. 

But after grieving my losses, I have chosen instead to dwell on what I can do – call up a home health care service and ask for help from a woman with lots of energy, enjoy watching and listening to The Messiah, ask for help from some grandchildren and their parents, hire a snowplowing service to clear our driveway this winter.  Dad has always been able to snow blow and shovel our driveway and sidewalks, but there comes a time to pass the work on to someone else. 

I’ve always loved the verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I found that verse in context.  Paul, who penned these words as he was sitting in a Roman prison, wrote the following rather astounding sentences:

…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…

Philippians 4:11-13

Contentment is the main subject, and suffering can be our greatest teacher.  While we have no control over whether or not we will contract an illness, we can learn to decide how we live during that time – be it a short time or long.  We can choose to lament why me? and see the unfairness of it all, or we can come to the point of surrendering the circumstances of our lives to Jesus and finding contentment in whatever comes our way.  It seems counterintuitive, but contentment is a by-product of the strength Jesus gives us. 

 I will be honest, there were a few days during our covid adventure that I was not content.  When I first learned Dad was coming home and I was still struggling with the virus, I was frustrated – How can I take care of him, an oxygen tank, a walker, a back brace… when I’m only able to be off the couch a few hours a day?  But after I spoke about all my inadequacies and irritation to Jesus (He’s usually the first one I vent to) I found out that a few hours a day off the couch was all I needed.  Friends and family brought food, nurses were nearby virtually, and we both started improving slowly but surely. 

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail.

Psalm 142:1-2

When we come to the end of our own strength and cry out for help, He often sends assistance through other people. So much food was provided that we had to put some in the freezer for a time, young and energetic children and grandchildren helped move around furniture and put up decorations, assisted with the outdoor work we were unable to do, and now… all is well.

Thank you all for generously giving to us,

Love, Mom

Write Your Own Headlines

Dear Daughters,

Sometimes I listen to the news, but I must limit myself because the news that sells is usually filled with conflict, covid and criticism – which if heard too often leads to a heavy dose of anxiety.  If I try to find my stability in the news I hear from the world, I become wobbly and fearful, anxious and full of despair.  I pray for people in our country and around the world, for politicians (those I agree with and those I don’t) but it is not healthy for me to focus intently on what is wrong in the world. 

I recently read an article by Beverly Greer about an idea I have decided to adopt.  She decided to start writing her own headlines – not to be published in the news – but headlines from her own world as she hunts for beauty, faithfulness and goodness.  I too have started searching for good headlines to write, those that may be mocked by others as insignificant, never to land on the front page, but headlines nevertheless.  Headlines to encourage patience and gratitude, perseverance and love.  Here’s a few I have written for myself:

A butterfly climbs out of its cocoon this morning, glorious in all its beauty.

Family drops everything to come to Grandpa’s bedside as he enters his last days

and his body gives out

The sun rises over a deep canyon filled with liquid beauty.

Kim Baar

The miracle of people flying in an aluminum tube above the clouds

The spikey beauty of icicles are seen on a simple windshield

Apples growing on a tree started by planting a single apple seed

A man and woman have been faithful to each other for 45 years

Starlings seen doing unimaginable acrobatics that would challenge the Blue Angels

A single sperm and egg unite and become a baby in 9 short months

To some, this may seem like a wasteful exercise and quite inefficient for people who are busy doing important things, but writing your own headlines is an exercise in faith.  Faith that this world was created specifically to be beautiful and life-giving.  Yes, it has been marred and broken, but God originally made all things good and He is delighted when we take the time to actually see and give thanks for such things.  This is also an exercise in trust, knowing that

The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future... Do the truth quietly, without display.

Brennan Manning

Brennan Manning, who defines the intense love of God for his children to be the most powerful force in the universe, lived a life of simplicity.  He looked for God’s goodness everywhere, because it is everywhere – if we take the time to look.

Writing your own headlines won’t make you money or cause the world to applaud your actions, but it just may bring you more peace and joy…

The marvel of the human body, the splendor of the universe and all its inhabitants are subjects that could keep us occupied for thousands of years.  In his humility, God created not just one species of butterflies, but 17,500.  He created not just our Milky Way galaxy, but millions more. The little blue dot we humans inhabit is miniscule compared to the rest of the vast heavens around us. And yet He made all things on this little dot for us to discover and be amazed. He rejoices when we give thanks for all He has given. As Jesus Himself says,

...I have told you these things so that in Me you will have peace. In this world you will have suffering, but take courage: I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

There is absolutely no end to God’s creativity in trees, fruit, feet, fingerprints, clouds, voices, snowflakes, personalities, body shapes, hair color, laughter, sunsets, leaves and the intricacy of all His creation. Every square inch of our world belongs to Him, on loan for us to enjoy.

What headlines can you write as you look around in your world today? Please leave a headline of your own in the comment section below. 

Thank you!

Love, Mom

Choose Your Frame

Dear Daughters,

About 70 years ago Grandpa had a mid-air collision while he was a young pilot living in California.  Because of the G.I. bill he was able to take lessons for free, so had been training for his pilot’s license.  One day Grandpa was flying quite low to the runway when another small plane, flying a little higher than his, turned unexpectedly into Grandpa’s path and cut off his tail in the process.  Grandpa’s plane flipped completely over and landed on its nose, leaving him hanging in his seatbelt.  He loosened his belt, dropped to the ground and walked away unharmed.

There were five different people who saw the accident.  Guess how many different opinions came when they were questioned about what happened?  Yes, five different opinions of the same accident.

It happens all the time, for any situation, statement or news report.  An incident occurs and every person perceives it with their own bias or prior knowledge and experience.  How we frame our circumstances definitely defines the way we live. 

This morning we woke up to a power outage lasting three hours. No warm breakfast or hot tea – a minor inconvenience for us, and it passed quickly.  But I’m sure it was a cause for extreme consternation to others who had things to do and places to go.  I immediately thought of the people in the Dominican Republic and other countries like it.  In the DR people plan on outages every day because different quadrants of the city are allowed so many hours of electricity each day and they simply allow for that fact, grateful when it is working.   

There are many different frames available for everything that happens to us.  We can frame a situation so we become the victim.  We can frame another happening so we are the hero.  Or we can frame a circumstance portraying us as innocent. The framing options never end…

Do you remember Paul, the guy who Jesus appeared to on the road to Damascus?  He regularly had his plans foiled and his journeys often included unexpected encounters and directions.  In fact, during the end of his life he and some friends set out to Rome, eagerly planning to spread the good news to the people there.  Instead, he ended up in prison, being chained night and day to the guards keeping watch over him.  In this situation Craig Groeschel (in Winning the War in Your Mind) describes the choices of how Paul could respond:

#1) Lament the fact of his imprisonment because it wasn’t on his agenda

#2) Rejoice because Paul trusted that God’s plan was better than his

If he had chosen option #1 he could have said:

Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me really sucks.  I wanted to spread the good news through preaching to government officials, but that did not happen.  As a result of this hell I’ve been through I have decided prayer doesn’t work, and I am never going back to church again.

But because he trusted that God’s plan was better than his he chose option #2 and said:

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News.  For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ.  And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear.  Philippians 1:12-14

In effect, Paul was saying, I had a plan but God had a better plan.  These guards are listening to the gospel and they in turn tell others the good news.  So it’s all good, and I’ll just enjoy.

Paul was the GOAT (greatest of all time) framer of circumstances.  He found joy in every situation, in fact he is the one who wrote,

I have learned to be content in all circumstances…I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

I think the bottom line in framing our lives is knowing that we have no control over what happens to us, but we do have control over how we will frame it.  If we trust that God loves us and has the best plan for our lives, and the Spirit of God lives within us, we need not worry or fret when hard stuff happens.  Yes, we can mourn and lament but ultimately, we do have the choice to reframe every situation.

Apparently, Grandpa simply framed his accident as a learning experience because a few decades later he built his own plane and took to the sky again.

Choose well and trust God with your life.

Love, Mom

Vultures and Hummingbirds

A few years ago my husband and I watched a mama cow in the front pasture who had recently given birth.  The little calf was laying in the green grass nearby the placenta which had recently released its occupant.  Just a few minutes after the birth, Larry saw these six vultures hovering around the pasture just waiting to gobble up their meal – the mouth-watering placenta.

Larry Baar
Larry Baar

A little later we also saw a hummingbird fliting around some wildflowers, joyfully drinking some of the sweet juice it had found. 

These two memories recently resurfaced as I finished reading a chapter from the book Winning the War for your Mind by Craig Groeschel, as he made the comparison between vultures and hummingbirds.  When a vulture flies around what is it looking for?  It always looks for dead things.  Apparently, vultures can smell roadkill from over a mile away.  Vultures primarily focus on dead things, smashed, squished or rotting – that is their specialty.

Hummingbirds, on the other hand, are attracted to sweet, life-giving nectar.  As they fly, their wings flapping 20 times per second, they are continually on the search for beautiful flowers and fragrant blossoms.  Hummingbirds focus on life and beauty.

What a difference in the goal of their hunts – one seeking out death and the other looking for life.  Every day each bird finds what they are looking for.

Craig uses these two feathered friends to illustrate the way each of us tend to preframe our perspectives during the day.  At the beginning of each day we typically have a mindset of what we expect during the day.  We can choose how to view something before it happens. 

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of preframing our day with the thoughts:

Today will be the same old same old stuff I face every day.  Same stuff, different day.  I’ll never be able to get done all I need to.  I’m overwhelmed.

 We expect and look for those things that bring us down, despairing and hopeless.  The way of the vulture.

Larry Baar

Thankfully there’s another way to preframe our day even before we get started.  With God’s help we can choose the frame for the day – looking for the life-giving beauty, giving thanks for His care.  If you know you’re in for a challenging day you could say to yourself:

Today I will experience God’s strength through my weakness.  He gives me everything I need for what I’m called to do.  Instead of a bad, busy day, I’m going to enjoy a good productive one.

There is not a moment in your life when God has forgotten or forsaken you.  He assures us, In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.  We cannot control what happens to us, but we can choose how we will frame it.  We can see our circumstances through the lens of His mercy and grace, knowing our strength comes from Him. This is the way of the hummingbird.

It’s a beautiful thing to know we are loved and cared for by our Heavenly Father who has promised to carry our burdens.

It’s also empowering to know we have a choice:

To follow the way of the vulture or the way of the hummingbird.

The God Box

Dear Daughters,

Did you know that on average you make 35,000 choices every day?  I had no idea, but that’s what the research says.  You can choose to get out of bed in the morning, choose to smile, choose to be kind to your husband and choose to say “thank you” to the people around you. 

You can also choose to worry – about what your friend thinks of you, worry about wearing the right clothes, about whether or not you will get Covid, about what your children are doing…  the possibilities are endless.

To worry or not to worry?  That is the question.

Our human default is worry. 

We are faced with two basic choices every day.  We have a choice to worry about how we’re going to figure out tomorrow

– or –

 we can choose to trust God and cast those worries on Jesus.

Craig Groeschel recently wrote a book Winning the War in Your Mind, teaching about those very things.  One specific example he gives is an incredibly easy and tangible way to be thinking about what you are thinking.  Craig suggests making a God Box.  It can be a shoebox, an Amazon box, or any other little box you may have lying around.  On the outside of the box write the word God.  Any time you have a runaway thought, a worry or a temptation, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it in the God Box.

You might write something like:

I’m afraid there won’t be enough money to cover the bills

I’m worried about my 17 year-old

What if our business fails?

I’m afraid of what may happen to my children when I am not around

I’m worried about my health, what if I never get better?

Will there be enough food for all?

Will my friend ever forgive me?

So, when you write each of these worries on a piece of paper and put it in the God Box, you could say:

God, I know you’re bigger than all these problems and I will trust you with them.  I can do nothing to fix anything, and so I give them all to you.  I don’t want to expend my mental real estate focusing on all these issues I cannot change, so I give them to you.

Once you pray and give it to God, go on with your life.

But… says Craig, if you decide you want to worry about something you’ve already put in the God box, open it up take out that slip of paper and say to God,

I don’t trust you any more with this item so I’m going to worry some more about it.

You may think that sounds like a rude thing to say to God, but in effect that’s what we’re saying when we fill our mind with worry.  The apostle Peter tells us to cast all your cares upon God for He cares for you.  Our thoughts seek to betray us, and doubts pop into our mind, but we have a choice whether we will worry about stuff, or live a life of trust and dependence on God. 

If you don’t have a box, use a bag and call it your God Bag.  Something, anything to remind you to quit worrying about things you can do nothing about. 

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we will receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Love, Mom

The Engine and the Caboose

Dear Daughters,

Do you ever have days when your mind seems to be inundated with dark thoughts, intense dislike for certain people around you, and feelings of self-loathing?  I have those thoughts especially on days when I’m physically not feeling well or when someone has recently disappointed or hurt me with their words.

Thoughts like these affect every human being from time to time. If you’re human you struggle with negative thoughts, for the mind is where the battle rages.  The battlefield of our life is in our mind – what we think affects what we do which affects what we say and how we behave.

A few years back a good friend showed me this little diagram of a train.  I admit my artistic abilities are nothing to be astonished at, but you’ll get the gist of it. If you consider this train as running through your mind – through all the neurons, dendrites and synapses (all the tiny functioning parts of our brain which are lovely words I learned in my education classes) – we can learn a great deal of why we feel like we do.

The Engine driving the train is labeled Facts.  The Caboose at the end is Feelings.  So what are the facts you think about?  If you listen to what other people and our culture teaches they may be something like this:

I’m not good enough

Not pretty enough

Not smart enough

No one really loves me

God loves everyone else more than me

If anybody really knew who I am they wouldn’t like me

My life is hopeless

I’m a failure

I’m going crazy

I’ve been forgotten

I’m not enough. Period.

 And if we always believe for a fact that we’re never enough of anything, where do our feelings and emotions lead us?  I don’t know about you, but my path becomes dark and lonely, I become easily offended by others and eventually, hopeless.    Or I work hard at proving to others and myself that I am enough, that I am worthwhile. Either way, we become as a wave tossed by the ocean, no anchor, no stability, floating along on the bleak sea of others’ opinions of us. 

If our feelings drive our train we’ll start trusting our emotions to rule our life and in time we’ll crash and burn.  If we allow the engine containing facts of what other people think about us become the driving force of our life, we will quickly sink into despair.

But if we let that Engine of Facts be filled with the Truth about what Jesus says about us, we will become a different human being.  Here’s just a few of the things Jesus says about you:

I am God’s child.

I have been bought with a price – I belong to God.

I have been adopted as God’s child.

I am free from condemnation.

I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

I can find grace and mercy in my time of need.

I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected.

I cannot be separated from the love of God.

If these Facts become secure in our Engine of Life our caboose of Feelings will become hopeful, joyful, peaceful and loving.  Our emotions will become sheltered, safe, stable, anchored by hope, constant and steady. 

There is no human being in the universe who can be our rock.  People will always disappoint us, our husband, our children, our friends.  Humans are simply imperfect created beings unable to fulfill our every need, and they were not made to fulfill our needs.   No one can live up to your expectations, and the inverse is also true – you are not able to live up to anyone else’s expectations. Only our Creator – who has proven His love for us and spoken about it repeatedly in the Book of Life – is able to be our Rock, our Redeemer and Rescuer. 

We can either let emotions pull our lives as an engine pulls the train, relying on our fickle feelings from hour to hour

-or-

We can let the Facts of God be our engine and our emotions to follow behind where they belong. 

Let me add one Major Detail:  If you rely only on your own willpower or strength to change your thoughts, you will fail.  But don’t give up – Look up!  Changing your thought life doesn’t come without a battle.  In other words, there will be a battle in store for you if you truly desire to replace the lies you believe with God’s Truth.  But because Jesus has offered His Spirit to live inside you for the asking, it is a war that can be won. Christianity has never been about behavior modification – it’s always about transformation from the inside out.

Love, Mom

Exploring My Strange Bible

Dear Daughters,

Have you ever tried to read the Bible and got bored with it?  Has the Bible seemed like a randomly collected book of stories and facts, a few wise sayings mixed in with some really strange prophecies?  Yeah, I have too.  Many of us believe that the Bible is either a divine instruction manual dropped from heaven or just a few inspirational quotes mixed in with some strange and disturbing stories.   Some of us think it’s just an old book that has no relevance for people today.  I used to read just the parts I liked and ignore the sections that were puzzling or offensive.  But all that changed when I was introduced to the Bible Project. 

Tim Mackie, one of the founders, calls himself a card-carrying Bible nerd and wants others to also be amazed at how brilliant and wise the Bible actually is.  From page one in Genesis to the last word in Revelation, the Bible is a cohesive, unified story all pointing to Jesus.  Tim’s early podcast, Exploring My Strange Bible, speaks out loud what many of us have actually thought: the Bible is too hard for me to understand, I’ll just leave it to the experts.

Back in 2014 Tim and Jon made two short 5-minute videos summarizing a few books of the Bible and posted them online for free.  Jon’s passion for visual storytelling combined with Tim’s PhD in Biblical and Hebrew studies made accessible many seemingly confusing parts of the Bible.  I’m quite certain I have watched at least 100 of their short videos, and every one I watch expands my appreciation and love for this book.

I had no idea that certain themes introduced on the first page of the Bible – such as the tree of life, the talking snake in the garden, the change from chaos to order – are coherent, beautiful and trustworthy themes, each one beautifully developed throughout all 1,000+ pages of the Bible. 

The 40-some authors of the Bible, writing over a period of 1,500 years, must have been guided by God’s Holy Spirit.  There’s no other way this book could consistently weave the same theme throughout. The writers, ranging from kings to herdsmen, were carried along in crafting their words, yet each writer has a specific personal style. As this picture suggests, it’s hard to see where God and man’s words stop or start, they simply worked together as a partnership. There’s no other book like it in the entire world.

I remember thinking in the past, If I were God, I would have whitewashed some of those stories, cleaned them up and tied them up with a neat pretty bow.  But God is not interested in cover-ups and lies.  He wants us to know that He can turn any chaotic and seemingly hopeless situation into good.  He is the Champion God of great reversals in our lives, restoring and redeeming what has fallen into chaos.  Anyone who is willing to let Him do His good work in them is invited to ask.  God is a gentleman and will not force His way into anyone’s life, but He’s always at the door waiting to be let in.

Love, Mom

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2026 Branches and Trees

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑