Since our Christmas decorations are still up and because I love seeing lights shine in the dark, I will post a past Christmas memory….

About 20 years ago, our daughters and families were over for our Christmas celebration.  As our tradition has been for many years, every person must hunt for one of their presents.  We are each given 10 clues and at the end of the search there is always a gift to reward the searcher. 

Well, this particular year I successfully got to the end of my 10 clues and for some reason, the gift space was empty.  Immediately, words seared into my mind:

Yep, this is always your life.  You try hard, you work hard, but there will never be any reward for you….

I put on a happy face and tried to laugh about it but inside I was weeping, hurt and trying not to believe those ugly words in my head.  I knew the empty spot was not left intentionally, but it was empty – and those words ricocheted through my mind.

To be fair, this happened during a time when I was going through a particularly difficult menopause spell, rejection from people I loved, and a chronic illness.  But whatever the back story is, words and wounds in life – either perceived or actual – always hurt.

We have all received empty spaces, lies or worse when we had hoped for applause, compliments or a simple gift.  Ugly, stained words from those we love, or even mere acquaintances, leave a memorable imprint on our soul.

But it’s not just the words coming from people that hurt us.  Sometimes it’s the lies in our head that have been playing on repeat for years – spoken lies or words we presume others think about us.

I remember as I was suffering from that chronic health condition, lies began to creep in my mind

God’s forgotten about me, why else would I never get better?

I’ve just slipped through the cracks and God doesn’t care…

No one had ever spoken those lies to me, but you and I have an enemy who loves to slither into our minds, speaking words which are untrue.  Lies.  Singular first person lies which tempt us to think those thoughts are our own.

As Joyce Meyers writes in her book “Battlefield of the Mind”

One of the greatest revelations of my life is: I can choose my thoughts and think things on purpose.  In other words, I don’t have to just think about whatever falls into my mind.

I have learned since then that I have a choice about what I allow into my mind.  I may accept negative messages about myself, such as

I am worthless

I am unlovable

 I’m a failure

God’s forgotten about me

-Or-

I can choose to believe what God says about me,

I am loved by God

I am a chosen, beautiful child of God

God created me for a purpose

God has promised to never leave or forsake me

When we forget who we are, when circumstances around us seem to indicate God no longer cares, we can still believe He is for us and not against us.  He is always working for our good.  We can forgive those who have labeled us with lies, knowing that Jesus always uses those hardships to make us stronger and more like Him. Tim Keller says it so well:

In some mysterious way, troubles and suffering refine us like gold and turn us, inwardly and spiritually, into something beautiful and great.

When Jesus came down to earth 20 centuries ago, He came directly into the darkness of our humanity.  The Roman Empire at that time was corrupt, brutal, dark, inhumane and heartless.  Interestingly, he didn’t start explaining the darkness and why it was there. He didn’t condemn the Empire, He simply came into it (Immanuel – God with us) and was Himself a light, showing us the way out of darkness.  He presented us with new life and the strength to live that new life, the way of love.

When dark and unexpected thoughts come into your mind uninvited, invite Jesus and His love for you to replace those lies with the Truth.   His specialty is bringing good from suffering, correcting wrongs, renewing all things, and teaching us to trust.   When we replace those lies with Truth, we can love freely, forgive abundantly; we will find joy, freedom and contentment – even in a world which seems out of control.