Branches and Trees

Musings on Marriage

Page 8 of 22

The Chosen

Dear Daughters,

Several years ago a friend of mine posted a new TV series called The Chosen.  Again and again I would see his posts, commenting on how much he enjoyed it and encouraging others to watch.  I remember thinking to myself, I’ve seen several Jesus/Bible movies and have never been impressed with them.  Most of the characters looked like Americans, Jesus was always white and handsome, the plot lines seemed anemic and the dialogue stilted.  The Jesus in the movies never seemed real to me; he seemed other-worldly, not at all connected to his humanity.

So I never looked into it – until a month ago.  Recently, because another friend of mine was so enthusiastic about how she loved the series and had watched some episodes several times, I finally decided to give Season 1, Episode 1 a try.  It was titled

I Have Called You By Name. 

Completely different from any movie I’ve ever seen about Jesus, it opens with Mary Magdalene as a little girl, then as an adult wrestling with her demons.  It shows the every-day oppression of living under the Roman occupation, the hierarchy of the Jewish religious system, and the day to day grind of being a fisherman. 

As with any good movie, I had a lot of questions and wonderings about different scenes so of course I had to watch it again.  But the most amazing thing for me is the character of Jesus and how his humanity is portrayed – how he loves people in the red quarter, how he carves toys for the little children, how he celebrates with joy and dancing at the wedding feast of his friends.  The honesty and vulnerability of Jesus is refreshing.  He is not intimidated by the religious folk, the poor, the cynical or the Romans. 

On the other hand, the disciples are depicted as the self-centered, hard-to-get-along-with people they were.  Seeing the backstories of the characters helped me to see them as actual human beings who were deeply flawed, argumentative and obviously misunderstanding the entire mission of Jesus.  The apparent animosity between Peter the fisherman and Matthew who ruthlessly collected his taxes, was shown for what it was.  And yet, Jesus called them both to follow Him.  There were spats among the disciples – who was the greatest of them and arguments about how the whole traveling troupe should be managed.  There were biases toward classes of people and speculation about ideologies, mistrust of each other and definite opinions about life in general.  Peter, the guy who seemed the most opinionated of all, constantly gave Jesus helpful hints about how the ministry should be run.

I had never thought about Jesus continually traveling, setting up camp each night, preparing food, walking miles of dusty roads and constantly facing multitudes of people seeking healing, facing intense criticism from the religious folk and being entirely misinterpreted day after day by everyone around Him.

The official statement about the series: 

The Chosen is based on the true stories of the gospels of Jesus Christ.  Some locations and timelines have been combined or condensed.  Backstories and some characters and dialogue have been added.  However, all Biblical and Historical context and any artistic imagination are designed to support the truth and intention of the Scriptures.  The original names, locations and phrases have been transliterated into English for anything spoken.

The Chosen gets two thumbs up from me, and a huge thank you to my persistent friends for challenging me to watch the show.

Love, Mom

Sometimes We Fall Apart

Dear Daughters,

This morning I finished the last page of my planner, my oh-so-valuable Things To Do notebook.  I typically use one each year, glance through it when it’s full, then throw it away.  You probably have something similar – the daily lists and reminders, temporary information that’s important for a time, and then it’s not.

As I was scanning through my notebook, I came upon the schedules for giving Lorazepam and Morphine to Grandpa, the timing for his breathing treatments, the list of Hospice workers, names of the amazing people who came in for the night shift and short statements about his general condition.  Suddenly my mind and emotions were swept back to those last few weeks of Grandpa’s life. 

It’s been almost a year since he passed and six months since we’ve moved back to Michigan, but immediately and unexpectedly today I relived all the grief and heartache of walking toward the horizon of the end of his life on this earth.  It was a sacred time a year ago, yet perplexing in how to give him comfort as well as those who gathered around to help.  I was reminded anew about how important it is for us to have a community of support, to give encouragement and do what we cannot do.  I’m reminded of the saying

It takes a village to raise a child,

but I think I can complement it by saying

It takes a village to escort a life to the end.

I know my statement doesn’t have quite the ring as the original, but it’s the best I can come up with – plus it’s true.

I used to feel young compared to Grandpa and Grandma (I looked quite spry in comparison) but now that I am around all of you, my daughters and your beautiful families, I don’t quite feel that way anymore and I continually marvel at all your energy and youth. But it’s ok, God has given each of us a time to begin life on this earth, a time to carry on and a time to leave.

I also came upon a beautiful song today, capturing all the emotions I was feeling.  So I listened and wept over all the memories – the hard, the beautitful, and a combination of all the others.  The chorus verbalized everything I was feeling:

It’s okay to cry
It’s okay to fall apart
You don’t have to try
To be strong when you are not
And it may take sometime to make sense of all your thoughts
But don’t ever fight your tears
‘Cause there is freedom in every drop
Sometimes the only way to heal a broken heart is when we fall apart  

It’s okay to cry, fall apart, and be weak.  In fact, maybe that’s how we can live life to the fullest.  Freedom comes in our honesty to admit we hurt, to admit we miss those who have gone, and admit we need help.  After all, it takes a village…

Love, Mom

The Beautiful Exception

Dear Daughters,

Did you know you can choose to be unoffendable?  Being offended is what comes natural, it’s our human default setting.  If someone makes us mad, or maybe just disagrees with us, our first impulse is to be offended. 

When I first heard of Brant Hansen’s book Unoffendable, I was offended.  I always thought it was good and healthy to be angry at some things – like sex trafficking, child pornography and civil rights abuses.  Sure, I know Jesus taught us to love others, forgive people who hurt us, be patient with those who irritate us.  But really, is that what he meant for every day?  Every time someone cuts me off in traffic, anyone who doesn’t agree with my political or religious views, or people who are simply mean?  Aren’t we supposed to be angry with those who sin, who don’t live like we live?

Today’s cancel culture teaches us – If you aren’t like me, if you disagree with me – I will cancel you out of my life and never speak to you again.

When I study the life of Jesus, I am amazed.  He never cancelled anyone.  Nor was He ever shocked or surprised at human behavior.  He knew that we are all basically selfish, He knew the fallen human heart was just that – fallen.  So maybe, just maybe we would do well to live the same way.  We all know what’s in our own heart so we can imagine every other person struggles with the same exact stuff. Different details, different day, different location, different people, but basically, we all skirmish with the same emotions as every other human on the planet.

Because I battle bitterness toward people who have hurt me, I imagine others do as well.  I struggle with forgiveness, so I know others also struggle when I hurt them.  When we can accept it as a fact – that people are self-centered, untrustworthy, unfaithful and prone to selfishness – we don’t need to be shocked any longer and can learn to adjust our expectations accordingly. 

Now this may sound quite pessimistic and like Debby Downer talking.  But we need not any longer be surprised at human behavior. If we simply remember that people will react in ways we don’t like, we can plan for it and choose a better way.  We can replace the shock and anger with gratitude.

Yes, the world is broken, but don’t be offended by it.  Instead, thank God that He’s intervened in it, and He’s going to restore it to everything it was meant to be.  Yes, the world is broken, and selfish is our default setting.  Brant Hansen

It takes the miracle of a new heart to become unoffended.  We see anger in the grocery store and at the bank, rage on the roads and annoyance at home.  Offense seems to be the fashion, outrage the popular trend.  But to be perpetually shocked and offended at others is exhausting.  Brant suggests that we might start living with realistic expectations and choose to be the exception – to be those who are not offended.

So, what if we started being the exception?  The Beautiful Exception.

Imagine the results of speaking kindness after being insulted.

Imagine the beauty when we pray prayers of intercession for our enemies instead of words of accusation.

Imagine the reaction if we searched and spoke of the good people do instead of highlighting the evil.

Imagine trusting God to take care of the people who have hurt us, to let Him do the work and mete out the justice we are incapable of giving.

Imagine someone cuts you off in traffic and you choose to replace that shock and horror with gratitude, to forgive them and actually pray for them.

And then when a person generously lets you merge – give thanks.

Imagine when your UPS driver drops off a package, you open the door and shout out thank you!  (something Dad is really good at)

Imagine your life becoming less stressful because you give up your right to anger and offense.

We need to remember, always remember when Jesus was reviled, spit upon and mocked, he never came back with similar words, but instead as he was hanging from the cross, prayed for his enemies, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  And if Jesus lives in us, we have the power to forgive, to give thanks during difficult times and trust our Father to do what we cannot.

Way back in the beginning we were created as images of God, so we can rule as He ruled, with a servant heart and hands of peace.

We draw people to Christ by not loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely, that they want to know with all their hearts the source of it.  Madeleine L’Engle

And as Brant Hansen sums it up:

When we recognize our unsurprising fallenness and keep our eyes joyfully open for the glorious exceptions, we’re much less offendable.  Why?

Because that’s the thing about gratitude and anger: they can’t coexist.  It’s one or the other.

One drains the very life from you.  The other fills your life with wonder.

Choose wisely.

Let’s be the Beautiful Exception.

Love, Mom

On My Own

Dear Daughters,

A few years ago I watched the movie Les Miserables Les Miz for short.  It’s a fabulous movie based on the novel by Victor Hugo, first published in 1862.  The music in the film is marvelous and moving, emotional and memorable.  The story of Les Miz is based on the character Jean Valjean, known as Prisoner #24601, recently released from 19 years in prison and desiring to find a life of freedom but not knowing how.

It’s a long and complicated story, but in the movie there is a lovely song On My Own sung by one of the minor characters, Eponine.  It is a haunting, heartbreaking song of a woman having to live life on her own.  I learned it quite well because a piano student of mine wanted to sing and play it and asked for my help.  So, I immersed myself in the song, singing and playing it so I could teach it well to my student.  But an interesting shift took place as I sang it over and over.

Originally, the song is sung by Eponine because the man she loves is only in her dreams, yet she longs for him to be a reality – which never happens.  She sings the song on a deserted street in the rain, devastated yet hoping for something more than what she has experienced.  The more I sang it I started believing that this was my life, that I was on my own.  Slowly, the words I sang became those I felt about God during that time in my life.  I had been hurt and rejected by others, my health was failing and I truly felt as if God had abandoned me.  So I sang On My Own more and more, often with fervor, believing that in real life I was on my own.  God had become a figment of my imagination, a nice awareness but simply a pretend idea.

The words of On My Own go like this:

On my own, pretending he’s beside me

All alone, I walk with him till morning…

And I know, it’s only in my mind

That I’m talking to myself and not to him,

And although I know that he is blind,

Still I say there’s a way for us.

I love him, but every day I’m learning

All my life I’ve only been pretending

Without me his world will go on turning

A world that’s full of happiness that I have never known

I love him…..

But only on my own.

It’s a sad song to sing about a boyfriend or husband you wish were yours, but it’s even a sadder song when you’re singing it about God.  God, the one we’re told who has created us, who loves us and desires the best for us.  And yet, sometimes it feels like he’s gone, vanished, given up on us – and we come to believe we are totally on our own.  I made the mistake of singing that song over and over again, becoming more mournful every time, and actually believing that I had no choice but to live life on my own.  I had to look out for me because no one else was going to do it, and so I came to the conclusion that this was my life for a time.  Too long of a time.

The melody was so beautiful, the orchestration exquisite, and the musicality itself continued to draw me in.  How easy it is to let a 3-minute song become your entire belief system. Philosophers can write books of many wise words, but a winsome melancholy popular song often becomes the mindset of the masses who sing it.

Feelings are strong, they can take us up to the moon at times but also into the depths of despair.  It was into the depths of despair that I went.  I continued to sing All Alone and for me it became a reality.

So where can we anchor our minds and hearts when these thoughts consume our every waking moment?

Thankfully, a friend gently reminded me that my feelings were only feelings, they were not the truth.  I am not alone, I was never alone, and I will never be alone.  How do I know that?  Simply because the Bible tells me so.  The Bible has been an anchor for millions of people through thousands of years.  My friend reminded me all the times in the past when Jesus showed his love for me. 

So I rewrote the words:

I’m never alone,

The Spirit lives inside me.

Every day, my Lord he walks beside me.

Without out Him, my life would be disaster

Remembering His faithfulness that I have always known…

 I love Him, I’m never on my own.

The mindset of the original On My Own is found often in the Psalms.  King David and others who wrote the Psalms never denied their feelings, but wrote exactly what they felt, even though it wasn’t true.  God is never afraid of our honest cries and wailings.  But he loves to have them directed toward Him so He can come and give comfort.

They [the Psalms] are remarkable for recording with brutal honesty the cries of those who are sick and suffering, says Tim Keller.  Yet, the hopelessness and despair is only for a season.  When we turn our eyes to God and remember, always remember his faithfulness to us and to others in the myriad stories in the Bible, then we can wait patiently and sing songs of hope instead of anguish and gloom.

Love, Mom

The Rooster Crowed

Dear Daughters,

Remember the story of Peter, when Jesus was on trial?  A few hours earlier, Jesus had told Peter that he would betray Him, that he would claim distance and innocence from knowing the man sentenced to death.  Peter of course vehemently denied that such a thing could ever happen.  Even if everyone else ran away, he wouldn’t.  Not Peter. No, Peter would be true and faithful even unto death.

Yet, several hours later Peter did the very thing he vowed he’d never do – betray the man who had even predicted the number of times Peter would deny his Lord.

Not once, not twice, but three times he cursed and swore, saying he never knew the man.

And then the rooster crowed. 

Peter was devastated with despair when he realized he had just denied his Lord.  He heard the rooster crow and knew he had failed.  He was traumatized, thinking perhaps someone else – anyone else – could have said those words against Jesus, but certainly not him. 

And yet, he also saw mercy in the eyes of Jesus as the rooster crowed.  Peter wept bitterly but he didn’t give up on life itself.   

What does the rooster’s crow signify to you?

When I hear the rooster’s crow, I typically look at the sins of people around me.  It’s so much easier to point out theirs instead of my own.  But the Lord, when I ask, shows me my part in the dance of offenses in which I participate.  And when I confess that I too play a part in every problem, I know the forgiveness of Jesus is there immediately. 

Someone else may hear the rooster’s crow and feel extreme guilt and shame because of a memory being triggered from someone’s remark – snarky or simply in passing – but it catapults them into a pit of self-loathing and remembrances of past memories and similar failures.

Either way, pointing the finger at others or ourselves can become a severe detriment to receiving the freedom God desires for us.

I am continually amazed at the outrageous mercy of Jesus.  The extreme grace he showed to Peter as well as Judas the betrayer.  During the Last Supper, Jesus knelt down and washed all the disciples’ feet, including Peter – the one who later denied Jesus – and Judas, who Jesus knew would betray him within the hour.  I can hardly fathom the love and generosity of our Lord who would be a servant to those men, knowing exactly what each of them would do within a very short period of time.

Judas, eager to earn 30 pieces of silver, happily walked to the Pharisees to receive his payment – until he saw the consequences of his betrayal – the rooster’s crow for him. Then his guilt suddenly became so deep he saw no way out, and drowning in shame, he hung himself.

Peter, succumbing to peer pressure, spoke words he thought would never come out of his mouth – denying his teacher and friend. And then the rooster crowed. I’m sure both Peter and Judas felt like they were drowning in fear and consumed by shame.  One reached out and took hold of restoration and forgiveness; the other chose to condemn himself. 

 A thousand years before Jesus even walked on the earth, King David wrote about this undeserved forgiveness and freedom from condemnation, because he had experienced it after committing both adultery and murder. 

He does not treat us as our sins deserve, nor does He repay us according to our iniquities... As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:10

 Thank God we don’t get what we deserve, otherwise we’d all be dead. There’s always a second chance, a third, a fourth…His mercy never ends.

Next time you listen to that rooster’s accusation, remember – always remember, that’s not the end of the story.  The Son is rising and His forgiveness is a free gift to all.

We worship the God who turns tragedy into triumph

Sorrow into singing

Who turns brokenness into beauty

Death into Life.

            David Platt

Love, Mom

Carman

Dear Daughters,

I’ve been binging on some loud music tonight, rather unusual for me, but because one of my favorite singers passed away a few days ago it’s brought lots of good memories from the past.

Carman.

There was no one like him in the music industry back in the 1980s and 90s.  His trademark style featured high-drama story songs, his most famous being The Champion.  I can still see you girls dancing to Addicted to Jesus, Who’s in the House and many others in the living room.  I remember you all loving the high energy songs, and typically skipping over his slower ballads, so I would listen to them while you were in school.  Most of his music highlights the battle that rages on between good and evil, darkness and light – with Christ always as the victor. 

  Carman was born in New Jersey, the youngest of three children in an Italian American family.  His dad was a meat cutter and his mom was known as a child prodigy on the accordion.  It was in her band that he first started performing as a teenager, filling in one night on the drums when the regular didn’t show.  As a teen he started his own band, playing guitar and doing vocals.  

While he was playing club circuits in Atlantic City and expanding through New Jersey into Philadelphia, Carman was approached by a Capo from the real-life Sopranos Crime Family to represent his interests and help expand his career.  He replied “I’ll decide when I get back from Vegas.”  He took off in his 1993 Chevy Vega, hoping to make it big in Las Vegas.  While he was there, he attended an Andrae Crouch concert and accepted Christ’s call on his life. 

Accordingly, his music took a drastic turn after his new birth.  He started writing his soon to become trademark music which was a combination of drama, rock, comedy, satire, acting, singing, dancing and preaching – all woven into what was to become a music genre like no other.  His gift of evangelism combined with an almost Vegas-like showman showcased his unpredictable wit with story-dramas that could be described as a full-length feature film in 7 minutes or less.

Carman leaves behind a wife of 4 years, being married for the only time at the age of 61.  But he also leaves behind millions of people like me, who have been encouraged in dark times, led to praise in times of joy, and who have been challenged to have no addiction but Jesus himself.

Some of my favorites are:   

Revival in the Land

Witch’s Invitation

No Monsters

R.I.O.T.

The Courtroom

Who’s in the House?

Addicted to Jesus

Satan, Bit the Dust

Mission 3:16

I Promise

Two kids albums – Yo Kidz

And, of course, his most famous story-drama ever:

The Champion

Wherever Carman went throughout the world he filled theatres, never charging an admission fee, one of which we attended.  He always offered a free invitation to hear his music and the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  He trusted that God would provide through the love offerings people gave during the concert.  His high energy performances were phenomenal and drew more than 70,000 in several arenas.

I love all his songs but of course my personal favorite will always be The Champion.  I never tire of hearing the ten count of defeat that starts out backwards, according to Satan:

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

 Won, He has won, He’s alive forever more, He is risen from the dead, He has won!

I know The Champion Himself greeted Carman as he walked through the doorway from this world into his eternal home. 

Love, Mom

Choose Your Hard

Dear Daughters,

According to those who study the brain, the average adult makes around 35,000 conscious choices every day.  From the words we speak to the food we eat, the socks we wear, the number and direction of the steps we take, we’re always making choices.  Some of them seem trivial, others more consequential.  But as the proverbial snowflakes that continue to pile up hour after hour, every choice matters, and the end result is sometimes what we least expect.

You may have heard this anonymous quote before, but I think it bears repeating:

Obesity is hard.  Staying fit is hard. 

Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard.  Being financially disciplined is hard. 

Choose your hard.

Marriage is hard.  Divorce is hard. 

Choose your hard.

Communicating is hard.  Not communicating is hard.

  Choose your hard.

I think everyone who is alive and breathing agrees Life is Hard.  Even though our culture tries to assure us that what we buy, wear or eat will make us happy and our lives easy, by now most of us have figured out that stuff won’t ever bring lasting joy.   

Life will never be easy. It will always be hard.  Even when we choose options which seem to be easy, they never are.   Taking the easy way isn’t the easy way.

I wonder if the simple choice of expecting hard things would make life more palatable.  Expectations of having an easy and carefree life simply sets us up for disappointment.  But if instead we see life as climbing a mountain, following our trusted mountaineering guide, knowing He will guide and walk alongside us, we can expect hard circumstances and thrive, experience joy in the hard.  We are never told to navigate life on our own, it’s too much to bear. 

Because I appreciate the above Choose your Hard statements, I’ve decided to add a few of my own:

Going to work on time is hard.  Being fired is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Working on a team is hard.  Working alone is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Forgiving your enemies is hard.  Taking revenge is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Trusting Jesus is hard.  Trusting yourself is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Complaining is hard.  Being thankful is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Speaking words of kindness is hard.  Speaking words of bitterness is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Trusting people is hard.  Trusting no one is hard.

                Choose your hard.

Saying Yes is hard.  Saying No is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Remember that climbing a mountain metaphor with a trusted mountain guide I mentioned earlier?  It’s the only way I can wake up every day, put my feet on the floor and walk forward with joy and expectancy.  If I trust in my own judgment, in my own understanding of the limited world I can see around me, I flounder.  This world is simply too complex for my little brain to figure out the best words to say or the wise choices to make.  I need a mountain guide on the sunny days when I think I can see every perspective correctly, and I need a guide when it’s foggy and I can’t see a foot ahead of me.  I am unable to do life on my own.  Thankfully Jesus is more than willing to help me, walk beside me, encourage me, forgive me when I confess, lead me to make the better choice – simply for the asking. 

Kari Matthews

As Avery Garns has spoken so well:

God is teaching me that I can be both thankful and frustrated, fractured and faithful.

Maybe this place of in-between, of both/and, is the place where we find true hope and healing.

 Taking the easy way isn’t an easy way, it’s simply a non-existent delusion.   So choose your hard, choose wisely, trust Jesus and live in expectation of joy in the hard.

Love, Mom

A Weary World Rejoices

Dear Daughters,

About a year ago in December I remember reading incredibly optimistic articles about the upcoming year of 2020 being a wonderful year of being able to see clearly.  Ideal vision, 20/20 vision, the ability to see and do what we need to do – it was to be the exceptional year of progress and possibility.  Unemployment was low, the economy was good.  And then came the corona virus…

Now we are near the end of 2020, a year no one could have ever predicted and we’re weary.  At times it seems like we‘re living out the movie Groundhog, every day is a bit too much like the day before. 

So what is there to rejoice about? 

The world in which Jesus was born was not so very different.  The Roman Empire in the first century was cruel and harsh – high taxes, oppression from the government, police brutality, a huge chasm between the ruling elite and the poor.  It was a time when all the Jews were hoping and waiting for the Messiah to come, just as they had been waiting for hundreds of years. 

The Jews felt lost and forgotten. 

Abandoned and overlooked.

And then, when they were least expecting it, He came.  Not as a warrior on a mighty white steed armed with a sword and ready to take out the Roman government, which was what most people were expecting.  They were hoping for release from the unfair rule of the current government and seeing a triumphant procession led by the Messiah to release them from bondage.

Instead, Jesus was born of a young teenage mother and protected by her brave and courageous husband. Mary and Joseph were most likely afraid, outcasts of society and tired.  Jesus, the one who was from before creation, humbled himself to be nestled in the darkness of a virgin’s womb, becoming handicapped and encased in a human body, living within time constraints when he was the Eternal One.  And why?

He was called Emmanuel – God with us. 

He saw that we could not save ourselves.  Lord knows we have all tried.  Tried to follow all the rules, do the right thing, be good enough, strong enough, acceptable enough.  But the chasm between us and a Holy Perfect God is too vast.  There’s no way on earth that we can get rid of the guilt, shame and unworthiness that we have all felt.

So Jesus came to be the bridge between God and us.  Simple as that.  When we say yes to Jesus, he comes to take away our guilt and shame and gives us a new heart – a heart of flesh instead of our original heart of stone.  He gives us new life, the ability to love and forgive, show compassion and mercy even to those who don’t deserve it. Especially to those who don’t deserve it.

The YouVersion Bible App has noticed that the most bookmarked, sought after and read verse in Scripture in this year 2020 is Isaiah 41:10,

So do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Do not fear, which is a phrase repeated over 300 times in the Bible is certainly what we need in our time, just as the people in Isaiah’s time needed to hear it.  Just as Mary and Joseph needed to hear it, and exactly what we need to hear today when fear has become epidemic to our world. 

I am with you, Emmanuel, God with us.  True hope amid chaos.  Stability.  The Eternal One with us. 

Now we can breathe, and rejoice.  Jesus has not left us alone, but has promised that forever He will be our strength and help.  He doesn’t fix things as we think they need fixing, yet has promised to walk with us through every hard thing.

We are a weary world and we can still rejoice because we have not been left alone.

We never have to be beside ourselves with fears

when God is beside us with favor

Ask Mary

Favor isn’t grace for an easy trajectory,

but enough grace for a hard task.

Ask Mary

Favor with God doesn’t mean receiving more grace than others

But receiving enough grace to live sacrificially for others.

Ann Voskamp

So maybe 2020 has been a year of clear vision.  It has caused many of us to search for a solid foundation, for Someone who will never change even though a tiny little virus has certainly changed life as we know it.  It is a year that has brought us to our knees.  And I think on our knees is a good place to be…Humble, looking for Him our creator who came as a child so he could experience life as we have, in a human body so fragile that his own creation killed Him. 

He loves us like none other.  He’s our only safe space.

A weary world rejoices.

Love, Mom

Swimming Upstream

Dear Daughters,

Last week we went to Fish Ladder Park in downtown Grand Rapids.  It was a rare t-shirt day in November so we packed a picnic lunch and headed out for a homeschooling excursion. 

I’ve read about salmon swimming upstream to spawn and the cement ladders people have built for the salmon to get there when dams block the way, but I had no idea there was a ladder so near our home.

God blessed salmon with an extraordinary sense of smell imprinted from their birth, so they are compelled to go back to their location of origin in order to spawn the next generation.  But in order to do so they need to swim upstream for at least 150 miles.  Yes, they’re fish and made to swim, but swimming upstream?  Those persistent little creatures certainly do not take the easy way.

Swimming upstream.  

What does that look like in our society today?

 When I arrived home from that pleasant afternoon at the fish ladder, I got thinking about how easy it is to go with the flow.  It’s easy to join in the clamor, the quick judgments of Fake News or Not So Fake News (who can tell the difference?) the name-calling, the slander, the accusations and all the volatile words flying around in our society.  It’s no effort at all to join in the belligerent choir against everyone who disagrees with us.  Yet,

Call out culture is exhausting.

What if we spent more time catching people doing good and less time finding fault?

says Scott Sauls

Catching people doing good.  Hmmm… that certainly takes more effort than to criticize and complain, and I think it would definitely be considered swimming upstream in our world today.  Living is difficult, and by looking at our current situation it may not get easier any time soon.  Because of the constant barrage of media and talking heads I know sometimes it’s tough catching people doing good, but to choose between a pandemic of finding fault and a pandemic of catching people doing good, I will choose the latter.

Swimming upstream in our culture also means giving thanks.  During this season when a pandemic of ingratitude and yet another lockdown has arrived in Michigan, it’s so easy to concentrate on what we have lost, what we lack, and the frustration that accompanies so many disappointments. There is much heartache, sickness, loneliness and boredom with yet another Zoom meeting, putting on the masks, social distancing… 

Yet we still have so much, and we can choose gratitude in the midst of all the newest executive orders accompanied by the slander and indictments all around.  Giving thanks has always been the more difficult way – the swimming upstream way – but it’s also the only way to receive joy. 

I pulled out my gratitude journal again last week.  I had been verbally giving thanks to God as a daily spiritual discipline, but writing out one gift after another with pen in hand seems to be more permanent.  I tend to forget what I say with my mouth, but when writing one word after another, my gratitude journal becomes a book of remembrance.   Remembering all the good gifts I enjoyed yesterday, last week, the month before, the year before, and even decades before.  We can still give thanks for

hot oatmeal in the morning

the aroma of baking squash in the oven

feeling the grief of death

being able to talk with friends on the phone if not in person

a walk down the lane

opening up a green and red Christmas decoration box

listening to a friend’s sadness

singing a song

remembering the promises and love of Jesus that are the same yesterday, today and forever

I wonder if those salmon swimming up stream ever fear that they may not make it to their birthplace in order to spawn?  Since I haven’t studied the emotional fears of fish who swim upstream, I can’t say for sure but one thing I imagine is that they keep their eyes on the end goal.  To bring new life to yet more salmon.

What is our goal?  I don’t know about yours, but my goal is to become more like Jesus, that my character will be formed by His Spirit and that I will grow and produce the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.  In order to cultivate that fruit I will have to swim upstream and away from the current cultural pandemics of fear, ingratitude, and finding fault.

Swimming upstream is certainly more challenging than floating down with the crowds, but if God gave lowly salmon the desire and ability to go upstream, won’t He also give us the strength to be a light in a dark world by swimming upstream in a world of despair?

Love, Mom

Throwing Clods and the Election

Dear Daughters,

One of summer job titles I held as a high schooler was Clod Picker.  It was definitely not glamorous, but I earned an income while working the potato harvest in Idaho.  The job went like this: A huge potato harvester was brought into the field of ripe potatoes.  On top of the harvester was a conveyer belt bringing up stones, dirt clods, sand and potatoes from the land beneath us.  My primary job was to discern which were potatoes and which weren’t – tossing out the latter.  Difficult as it was, I must have caught on quickly because Mr. Hohnhorst kept me on for the entire harvest.

Oddly enough, as I watch the election process in our country, I am reminded of my summer job decades ago. I am saddened at the judgment and blame that is being tossed from side to side.  Stones and dirt clods are thrown around and especially toward those who differ from our opinion.

I have read many op-eds from various viewpoints and I lament that Christians are sounding way too much like the world.

As I remember, Jesus never criticized or condemned Ceaser Augustus, Herod, Pontius Pilate, or any other governing leader of His time. I also don’t recollect anywhere when we as the church are instructed to go out and ridicule, debase, or mock our leaders.

 Jesus never disparaged the barbaric Roman government in which He was under authority.  He never said,

Those Romans, they are the most unjust, deplorable people ever.  They uphold racism, have no respect for life, taxes are out of control, in fact the old man King Herod even tried to kill me when I was a baby, causing me and my family to become refugees and flee to Egypt.”   

Instead, He told his followers to pay their taxes without complaining:

Give Caesar what is Caesar’s and God what is God’s.

The Roman government completely ignored Jesus of Nazareth, except when he was born, and when he was sentenced to death.  At his death they were stand offish, washing their hands of the situation or simply looking for a fascinating miracle to be performed in their presence.

Kari Matthews

Jesus knew He belonged to another kingdom, not of this world.  His kingdom was one of self-sacrifice, humility and love, and He Himself was under the authority of His Father the True King.  He prayed for wisdom, trusted his Father and went about doing good, obediently as the Son of God.

I wonder what this world would look like if instead of judging, slandering and dissecting every news clip, we prayed for those in authority over us as instructed in the Paul’s letter to Timothy:

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people.  Ask God to help them, intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.   Pray this way for Kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives, marked by godliness and dignity.  This is good and pleases God our Savior…

And also in his letter to Titus:

Be subject to rulers and authorities, obedient, ready to do whatever is good.  Slander no one, be peaceable and considerate, showing true humility toward all men.

The Bible is quite surprising and intrusive with its use of the word all. We are instructed to pray for all those who are in positions of authority over us, just as we are to show true humility toward all.  Unfortunately, there are no exceptions given for anyone any time. 

As Ravi Zacharias has so practically stated:

When you throw mud at someone else, you not only get your hands dirty,

but you lose ground.

We all have different opinions and are quick to malign those who disagree with us, but we must remember that it is the same God and Father who created us all. We are different colors, have different beliefs, different enjoy different food types, have experienced different parents and lifestyles – yet we are all made in the Image of God.

I am reminded of a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr:

The real problem is that through our scientific genius we’ve made of the world a neighborhood, but through our moral and spiritual genius we’ve failed to make of it a brotherhood.

Kari Matthews

Our social media tells us we are the most connected people in the history of the world.  That may be true, but only in the electronic realm.  Our hearts are far from each other, far from unity, far from caring about people who differ from our beliefs.

Now as Christians, if we are a part of another Kingdom – the Kingdom of Heaven – shouldn’t we behave differently from the ways of the Kingdom of the United States of America?

I wonder – if we started humbling ourselves, confessing our own sins instead of pointing out those of others, praying for those in authority, caring for the weak – what change would occur in our country?

I’m willing to do my part, will you join me?

Love, Mom

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